deep fic writer asks: part 2
Jun. 28th, 2023 11:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
enchantedsleeperAnd here's part 2! This continues on from my deep fic writer asks: part 1 post, in which I set out to answer these deep fic writer asks from Tumblr, or at least the first 10 of them. You can read the previous post for a bit more context, and of course, my answers to the first 10 questions, some of which are referenced in these ones.
Before I start, a note about part 1: re-reading my answers to the first half of these questions a few months on was interesting, and though you wouldn't think much would change in the course of a few months, I feel like my answer to question 6 ("what’s the hardest part of the writing process for you?") is more downbeat than it would be if I answered it again now. Now, my answers to all of these questions are more of a snapshot in time; I would probably have given a different set of responses last year, or the year before, or the year before that.
But I do think I did my own ability to complete fics a disservice, maybe because I was in a bit of a slump at the time with an ongoing fic? Since then, I had a very productive jaunt into Honor Among Thieves fandom where I published five fics (so far!), and I've also published two fics for The Murderbot Diaries and one for Across the Spider-Verse. And it's not all about churning out fics of course - but given that I said I struggle to finish things before getting sidetracked, I'm not sure that's as true as it used to be. I do need to keep a certain amount of momentum going in order to finish, but I know that about myself, so it's something that I can work with. Also, WIPs aren't the end of the world - I saw this lovely Tumblr post (linking to the version with my own reblogged addition) that did a lot to help me make peace with my unfinished fics, as did this other WIP positivity post. If you are also someone who struggles with WIP guilt, please give them a read!
In my answer to question 5 I also referenced an upcoming answer (#16) that I've since rewritten, so it doesn't really match up with what I wrote previously, because I previously said that I'd set out to archive some of my oldest fics and then found them too cringey to revisit, but I've since decided I'm going to archive all of my fanworks (yes, even the oldest, cringest ones) on a personal fanworks archive. So, you can hold me to that! More on the personal archive project hopefully coming soon ^^
And now for the responses!
11. Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?
Not to my knowledge 👀
12. What’s your perfect environment to create/write?
Since my writing is heavily inspiration-driven, I’m happy to take any environment as long as I can get the ideas down; as long as I can write relatively uninterrupted, it doesn’t matter a whole lot. I’ll write on my phone during my lunch break at work, or outside on a walk, or on public transport if I get the chance.
During my first Yuletide I got into the habit of lighting a bunch of candles (including some nice winter-themed scented ones) in the living room and writing there, which was very vibes, and every so often I’ll try to bring that back! The summer equivalent is probably writing outside at our garden table, which is how I completed my fic for Aspec TMBD earlier this year. Again, though, having a nice environment is secondary; mostly I just hope to have a combination of time and motivation to write.
13. Do you take pride in your writing, or does it embarrass you? Why?
I am proud of my writing! As I mentioned in #3 for the first half of these questions, I have an attachment to all the fics I’ve written throughout my time in fandom, because they all show my involvement in different fandoms. My early fics are embarrassing to me now as a fan in her 30s, but obviously I was a lot younger when I wrote those, and I’m proud of my creativity, enthusiasm, and involvement in fandom, and the number of fics I found time to create. And since I left education and have much less free time on my hands, I’m proud of everything that I’ve managed to finish. (As well as those works that aren’t exactly finished, but that I still put a ton of effort into).
There are certain fics I feel are especially good, either skill-wise or just in terms of the ideas and the story I managed to tell (see my first answer in the first half!), but even with the others, I’m generally pretty happy with them and pleased with how they came out.
14. Do you compare yourself to other writers? In a positive or negative way?
Sometimes I’ll covet another writer’s fic output, but otherwise, not really? Most writers whose work I enjoy have a different style to mine, so I can appreciate it, but I don’t want to be them. However, I admire anyone who can write truly laugh-out-loud hilarious fic. I try to include humour in my writing, but none of my fics are pure comedy – which is fine, but I take my hat off to those writers who can manage that.
15. How do you think your writing has improved over time?
It’s pretty hard to quantify exactly how I think my writing has improved, though I’m sure it has. A while back I came across a writing meme on Mastodon that involved posting a screencap/excerpt from your oldest published fic and your newest to show the difference in writing. I gave it a go, but it was hard to really show the difference with just an excerpt, plus they were very different fandoms and types of fic. My old fics contain some extremely cringey turns of phrase (and author’s notes), but they’re not awful. I think I’ve improved in terms of being able to write a wider range of stories – not just cute fluffy romance but more serious stories (although I still prefer to write light-hearted stuff), with a wider range of relationship types (queerplatonic, polyam, and of course slash and femslash), settings, and characters.
I’ve also improved my ability to write action sequences, though I still find them challenging, and tend to lose momentum if they aren’t coming easily (I have a chapter of an MCU Spider-Man/Daredevil crossover fic that was stalled for ~9 months because of a particularly long action scene, and a SK8 fic that’s still stalled mid-action scene). The fic I’m most proud of in this respect is a Starship Iris Matrix AU which is one long action sequence (it shot for shot recreates the opening of The Matrix, but with Starship Iris characters and a futuristic setting), and that came out really nicely, if I say so myself.
I absolutely have not improved my ability to finish longfic, though. *sobs in no completed multichapter fics beyond 2 chapters in length*
16. Do you re-read old fics? Is there a time in your writing you won’t go back to?
I do re-read old fics! When I finish a fic there’s a period where I re-read it obsessively, sort of enjoying the fact that I finished it, and appreciating the bits that I think came out well. (This also helps to catch any mistakes I overlooked xD) After about a week I eventually have my fill of it and then after that, I generally don’t look back at it for months or years. But sometimes, I’ll be nostalgic for a particular fic that I wrote – maybe I’m thinking of a certain scene, or character interaction, or just looking back fondly on the fandom or on whatever inspired me to create it. After enough of a break, I can kind of read my own work like it’s not mine, and just happens to be a fic that caters to my own very specific likes xD (Though, there’s always an analytical part of my brain that’s a bit critical of the choices I made at any given point).
The older the fic, the less likely that it is I’ll go back to it, because my tastes have moved on a bit since I wrote those stories, but I can still appreciate the merits of some of my old drabbles – no matter how long ago I wrote them, fitting a story into 100 or 200 words is still pretty impressive. I do almost never re-read anything before about 2009, because those stories really are a bit more childish in terms of the themes and writing choices – although saying that, I once spent a while reliving my .hack//SIGN OC fic, Blogging the World, before archiving it on AO3, and I was pleasantly surprised at how engaging it was? I also remember enjoying the hell out of writing it, even though it had a very niche appeal (but it still had readers!), and I kind of regret that I didn’t write more. So, y’know, even those really old fics have their merits.
17. What’s the best engagement/interaction/feedback you’ve received from someone who’s read your work?
It feels cruel to have to pick a “best”, when I’m unbelievably honoured by all kinds of positive feedback that people have left on my works. I appreciate it so much – particularly the comments that get left on works that aren’t as widely-read, maybe they’re older or just super niche, but then one person will leave a comment saying they loved it and it all feels worth it.
One comment that does stand out as being particularly memorable is a comment someone left on a Film by Peter Parker. The fic was published in 2017, and the commenter left their comment in 2020. They told me that “in the last 3 years, this fic has never completely left my mind” and that they were hoping to head up to a college in New England to become a screenwriter that autumn. They told me that the fic (that I wrote) was more poignant than a lot of actual documentaries they’d seen, and that they were “always astonished by the thought and care that went into it”; they finished by thanking me for the work of art, and “maybe for inspiring some art of my own”.
I was absolutely floored. Jaw on the floor. As I mentioned in my answer to #1, I wasn’t really happy with this fic when I finished it, and it really took all of the positive comments I received to make me look back on it with pride. This comment was absolutely on another level; to think that a thing I wrote could have resonated with someone so much that it was in their mind while they made their college choices, and they took the time to tell me about that. Dear commenter, ever since I read your comment it has never completely left my mind, and I really hope that you’re succeeding at pursuing your screenwriter dreams. (Or that you’ve found something else you love that is equally dear!). Yours is the kind of comment I come back to when I question whether there’s any “point” in continuing to write fic, or whether my writing matters to anyone. You showed me that there is and it does.
It’s also hard to forget the lovely reception I got for my first TSCOSI (The Strange Case of Starship Iris) fic in January 2019, which I cross-posted to Tumblr and which marked the first time I’d ever had enthusiastic tag commentary on one of my fics (or posts at all!). Some of the tag commentary came from Ishani Kanetkar, the voice actor for one of the main characters in TSCOSI and one half of the ship that I’d written, and I was blown away when I realised who wrote those amazing comments. (Ishani did so much to encourage fanwork creators in TSCOSI fandom with her reblogs and she deserves all the kudos for that). I don’t think I would have thrown myself so enthusiastically into TSCOSI fandom if not for feedback like that and that fandom made a big difference to my fandom ‘trajectory’ and the way I approached writing fic (namely, that I felt like I could actually finish things and I got to enjoy feeling like a prolific fic writer for a change), so I imagine that things might have been very different if not for those lovely tag comments.
18. Do you only write when you’re inspired, or do you try and sit down at specific times and write no matter what?
Definitely the former. I wish I could be disciplined enough to make the second one happen, but despite often thinking it’s a good idea (especially when I have some kind of a deadline on the horizon like a Big Bang or Reverse Bang), I’ve never managed it. I guess the closest I’ve come to this level of habitual writing was a period about 6 years ago when I had a very good morning routine that involved getting up early to exercise, and usually left enough time to write when I sat down to have my breakfast. That enabled me to work consistently on fics like How to Be a Superhero Love Interest, which was written during that time.
Unfortunately, I got out of the routine eventually and I’ve never managed to get back into anything similar, though I often think longingly about it (writing time aside, the exercise part would also be good…)
19. If you could write an ideal fic, what would it include?
I’m not sure if there’s such a thing as an “ideal” fic that I might write, as long as I was happy with it? Or is this asking about the type of fic I would most enjoy writing? I think that depends heavily on the fandom I’m writing for, but here are a few attributes that I’m particularly pleased if I can incorporate into my fic (not necessarily all in the same work):
Before I start, a note about part 1: re-reading my answers to the first half of these questions a few months on was interesting, and though you wouldn't think much would change in the course of a few months, I feel like my answer to question 6 ("what’s the hardest part of the writing process for you?") is more downbeat than it would be if I answered it again now. Now, my answers to all of these questions are more of a snapshot in time; I would probably have given a different set of responses last year, or the year before, or the year before that.
But I do think I did my own ability to complete fics a disservice, maybe because I was in a bit of a slump at the time with an ongoing fic? Since then, I had a very productive jaunt into Honor Among Thieves fandom where I published five fics (so far!), and I've also published two fics for The Murderbot Diaries and one for Across the Spider-Verse. And it's not all about churning out fics of course - but given that I said I struggle to finish things before getting sidetracked, I'm not sure that's as true as it used to be. I do need to keep a certain amount of momentum going in order to finish, but I know that about myself, so it's something that I can work with. Also, WIPs aren't the end of the world - I saw this lovely Tumblr post (linking to the version with my own reblogged addition) that did a lot to help me make peace with my unfinished fics, as did this other WIP positivity post. If you are also someone who struggles with WIP guilt, please give them a read!
In my answer to question 5 I also referenced an upcoming answer (#16) that I've since rewritten, so it doesn't really match up with what I wrote previously, because I previously said that I'd set out to archive some of my oldest fics and then found them too cringey to revisit, but I've since decided I'm going to archive all of my fanworks (yes, even the oldest, cringest ones) on a personal fanworks archive. So, you can hold me to that! More on the personal archive project hopefully coming soon ^^
And now for the responses!
11. Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?
Not to my knowledge 👀
12. What’s your perfect environment to create/write?
Since my writing is heavily inspiration-driven, I’m happy to take any environment as long as I can get the ideas down; as long as I can write relatively uninterrupted, it doesn’t matter a whole lot. I’ll write on my phone during my lunch break at work, or outside on a walk, or on public transport if I get the chance.
During my first Yuletide I got into the habit of lighting a bunch of candles (including some nice winter-themed scented ones) in the living room and writing there, which was very vibes, and every so often I’ll try to bring that back! The summer equivalent is probably writing outside at our garden table, which is how I completed my fic for Aspec TMBD earlier this year. Again, though, having a nice environment is secondary; mostly I just hope to have a combination of time and motivation to write.
13. Do you take pride in your writing, or does it embarrass you? Why?
I am proud of my writing! As I mentioned in #3 for the first half of these questions, I have an attachment to all the fics I’ve written throughout my time in fandom, because they all show my involvement in different fandoms. My early fics are embarrassing to me now as a fan in her 30s, but obviously I was a lot younger when I wrote those, and I’m proud of my creativity, enthusiasm, and involvement in fandom, and the number of fics I found time to create. And since I left education and have much less free time on my hands, I’m proud of everything that I’ve managed to finish. (As well as those works that aren’t exactly finished, but that I still put a ton of effort into).
There are certain fics I feel are especially good, either skill-wise or just in terms of the ideas and the story I managed to tell (see my first answer in the first half!), but even with the others, I’m generally pretty happy with them and pleased with how they came out.
14. Do you compare yourself to other writers? In a positive or negative way?
Sometimes I’ll covet another writer’s fic output, but otherwise, not really? Most writers whose work I enjoy have a different style to mine, so I can appreciate it, but I don’t want to be them. However, I admire anyone who can write truly laugh-out-loud hilarious fic. I try to include humour in my writing, but none of my fics are pure comedy – which is fine, but I take my hat off to those writers who can manage that.
15. How do you think your writing has improved over time?
It’s pretty hard to quantify exactly how I think my writing has improved, though I’m sure it has. A while back I came across a writing meme on Mastodon that involved posting a screencap/excerpt from your oldest published fic and your newest to show the difference in writing. I gave it a go, but it was hard to really show the difference with just an excerpt, plus they were very different fandoms and types of fic. My old fics contain some extremely cringey turns of phrase (and author’s notes), but they’re not awful. I think I’ve improved in terms of being able to write a wider range of stories – not just cute fluffy romance but more serious stories (although I still prefer to write light-hearted stuff), with a wider range of relationship types (queerplatonic, polyam, and of course slash and femslash), settings, and characters.
I’ve also improved my ability to write action sequences, though I still find them challenging, and tend to lose momentum if they aren’t coming easily (I have a chapter of an MCU Spider-Man/Daredevil crossover fic that was stalled for ~9 months because of a particularly long action scene, and a SK8 fic that’s still stalled mid-action scene). The fic I’m most proud of in this respect is a Starship Iris Matrix AU which is one long action sequence (it shot for shot recreates the opening of The Matrix, but with Starship Iris characters and a futuristic setting), and that came out really nicely, if I say so myself.
I absolutely have not improved my ability to finish longfic, though. *sobs in no completed multichapter fics beyond 2 chapters in length*
16. Do you re-read old fics? Is there a time in your writing you won’t go back to?
I do re-read old fics! When I finish a fic there’s a period where I re-read it obsessively, sort of enjoying the fact that I finished it, and appreciating the bits that I think came out well. (This also helps to catch any mistakes I overlooked xD) After about a week I eventually have my fill of it and then after that, I generally don’t look back at it for months or years. But sometimes, I’ll be nostalgic for a particular fic that I wrote – maybe I’m thinking of a certain scene, or character interaction, or just looking back fondly on the fandom or on whatever inspired me to create it. After enough of a break, I can kind of read my own work like it’s not mine, and just happens to be a fic that caters to my own very specific likes xD (Though, there’s always an analytical part of my brain that’s a bit critical of the choices I made at any given point).
The older the fic, the less likely that it is I’ll go back to it, because my tastes have moved on a bit since I wrote those stories, but I can still appreciate the merits of some of my old drabbles – no matter how long ago I wrote them, fitting a story into 100 or 200 words is still pretty impressive. I do almost never re-read anything before about 2009, because those stories really are a bit more childish in terms of the themes and writing choices – although saying that, I once spent a while reliving my .hack//SIGN OC fic, Blogging the World, before archiving it on AO3, and I was pleasantly surprised at how engaging it was? I also remember enjoying the hell out of writing it, even though it had a very niche appeal (but it still had readers!), and I kind of regret that I didn’t write more. So, y’know, even those really old fics have their merits.
17. What’s the best engagement/interaction/feedback you’ve received from someone who’s read your work?
It feels cruel to have to pick a “best”, when I’m unbelievably honoured by all kinds of positive feedback that people have left on my works. I appreciate it so much – particularly the comments that get left on works that aren’t as widely-read, maybe they’re older or just super niche, but then one person will leave a comment saying they loved it and it all feels worth it.
One comment that does stand out as being particularly memorable is a comment someone left on a Film by Peter Parker. The fic was published in 2017, and the commenter left their comment in 2020. They told me that “in the last 3 years, this fic has never completely left my mind” and that they were hoping to head up to a college in New England to become a screenwriter that autumn. They told me that the fic (that I wrote) was more poignant than a lot of actual documentaries they’d seen, and that they were “always astonished by the thought and care that went into it”; they finished by thanking me for the work of art, and “maybe for inspiring some art of my own”.
I was absolutely floored. Jaw on the floor. As I mentioned in my answer to #1, I wasn’t really happy with this fic when I finished it, and it really took all of the positive comments I received to make me look back on it with pride. This comment was absolutely on another level; to think that a thing I wrote could have resonated with someone so much that it was in their mind while they made their college choices, and they took the time to tell me about that. Dear commenter, ever since I read your comment it has never completely left my mind, and I really hope that you’re succeeding at pursuing your screenwriter dreams. (Or that you’ve found something else you love that is equally dear!). Yours is the kind of comment I come back to when I question whether there’s any “point” in continuing to write fic, or whether my writing matters to anyone. You showed me that there is and it does.
It’s also hard to forget the lovely reception I got for my first TSCOSI (The Strange Case of Starship Iris) fic in January 2019, which I cross-posted to Tumblr and which marked the first time I’d ever had enthusiastic tag commentary on one of my fics (or posts at all!). Some of the tag commentary came from Ishani Kanetkar, the voice actor for one of the main characters in TSCOSI and one half of the ship that I’d written, and I was blown away when I realised who wrote those amazing comments. (Ishani did so much to encourage fanwork creators in TSCOSI fandom with her reblogs and she deserves all the kudos for that). I don’t think I would have thrown myself so enthusiastically into TSCOSI fandom if not for feedback like that and that fandom made a big difference to my fandom ‘trajectory’ and the way I approached writing fic (namely, that I felt like I could actually finish things and I got to enjoy feeling like a prolific fic writer for a change), so I imagine that things might have been very different if not for those lovely tag comments.
18. Do you only write when you’re inspired, or do you try and sit down at specific times and write no matter what?
Definitely the former. I wish I could be disciplined enough to make the second one happen, but despite often thinking it’s a good idea (especially when I have some kind of a deadline on the horizon like a Big Bang or Reverse Bang), I’ve never managed it. I guess the closest I’ve come to this level of habitual writing was a period about 6 years ago when I had a very good morning routine that involved getting up early to exercise, and usually left enough time to write when I sat down to have my breakfast. That enabled me to work consistently on fics like How to Be a Superhero Love Interest, which was written during that time.
Unfortunately, I got out of the routine eventually and I’ve never managed to get back into anything similar, though I often think longingly about it (writing time aside, the exercise part would also be good…)
19. If you could write an ideal fic, what would it include?
I’m not sure if there’s such a thing as an “ideal” fic that I might write, as long as I was happy with it? Or is this asking about the type of fic I would most enjoy writing? I think that depends heavily on the fandom I’m writing for, but here are a few attributes that I’m particularly pleased if I can incorporate into my fic (not necessarily all in the same work):
- a rare or unusual ship (love being the first to use a character or ship tag on AO3), especially if it’s a polyam ship; or a platonic or queerplatonic relationship
- an interesting or unusual AU where I can translate canon elements in a creative way
- a bit of a character study, and/or some kind of characterisation “thesis” that is explored in my writing – I love fics that kind of double as meta
- an obscure fandom headcanon, or nod to another work in the fandom
- an unusual storytelling format, such as ‘audio’ (not literally audio, but telling the fic through described audio) or ‘film footage’
- a decent length, which for me is at least 5k, preferably 7k+ (this will seem like peanuts to some people, but for me anything over 5,000 words is good going – it’s not hard for me to write more than that, but it is hard for me to finish it)
- preferably, some humour
And of course, it would need to be completed xD
20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?
*squints at question* This feels like a sentimentality trap, and I’m far too British to fall into it xD Well, is it cheesy to say that fic writing is the gift that keeps on giving? Okay, it absolutely is, but sod it: fic writing is a source of fun and escapism that I can tap into whenever I like; it’s a way of connecting with characters in media that I love that’s rewarding and interesting; and it connects me to a community of people all over the internet who love to do the same. And I get to put my writing out there for an audience who want to read it (that’s a big deal!) and share the joy of that media with them, and even get to hear that my writing resonated with them. So, what’s not to love?
